Football vs Christmas

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Yes, its true. I chose football. The Ravens/Steelers game at that. The day that decided who won the AFC North and who was playoff bound. The game that just happened to be on Christmas Day.

My family hasn’t been close this past year so I made the decision for forgo Christmas dinner with them and go to the game with my best friend instead. I switched the days with Sam so I had Joshua from noon on Christmas eve till noon on Christmas since it was a 430 game, 3 1/2 hours from me. He had no problem with the switch so I went for it. Apparently this was the selfish choice to make because Joshua and I should’ve been with family for Christmas. Selfish? Joshua was still with family, his father to be exact. and I was with someone who actually takes the time to check on me, that’s cares about me and makes me a part of her life.

My only regret in the situation was not having Joshua all day and getting to spend his entire Christmas with him. but im glad he was with family and not just a babysitter or something. And we made breakfast together and opened tons of presents. and I even saved some for the following day when he came home =)

I could tell my grandparents were disappointed and upset that I wasn’t going to be there for dinner but the only one who spoke on it was my father. Who waited till I was over 2 hours out of town to send me a text about how nothing should be more important then family and he cant believe he wont see me or Joshua on his birthday and Christmas. Um, im sorry… but im not going to make someone a priority that has been completely absent from my life this entire year. and worse then that, from joshuas life this whole year. Father or not, he made his choices to pretend like his child and grandchild didn’t exist for almost 9 months, so I don’t care to hear how upset he is that im not there on Christmas. He had all damn year.

So anyway, we went to the game. We had a blast, even though my Ravens lost and I was 1 of 3 ravens fans in our entire section. Regardless, we had the time of our lives, met some awesome people and had some real heart to heart conversations on the way back which just made us even closer. My child had the best day ever, I had the best day ever and my best friend had the best day ever.. so as far as im concerned.. Christmas 2016 was the one for the books =)

Mommy Confessions #2

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I completely forgot that tomorrow is freakin pajama day at school… GAHH. so I remember, just now.. at 2:36am. Go to get in his dresser and realize he has NO clean pajamas. Now I COULD be super mom and go do a quick load of laundry, stay up the 45 minutes to switch it to the dryer and have a nice clean pair for him in the morning.. but INSTEAD… we are going to wake up an extra 30 min early, go to Walmart and buy a new pair for the day =)

#parentingfail #mommyconfessions

Roommates? I think not.

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There’s been so much drama in my life lately and im not about this nonsense.

The worst of it all is baby daddy bullshit. Someone that used to be a very close friend to me, has decided to use my sons father for a place to live smh. Her and I stopped being friends months ago because I learned that I really cant trust her. About a week or so ago, I show up at Sams (baby daddy) to drop Joshua off for his day and Lexx is there.. weird considering they don’t know each other in the slightest. He pulls me aside and tells me that hes never spoken to her and that she randomly texted him and asked to come over. I knew this was trouble from that moment.. just cause I know lexy. Low and behold, 3 days later.. they are dating and shes moving in for good. HOLD UP! you just met this girl.. you know we had a falling out cause shes grimy and you know she got kicked out of her grandparents for stealing money… yet your letting her move into your home. where my son also lives? yea no. So I went and filed for custody and ofcourse, granted the situation I was given temporary emergency custody pending a court hearing. After telling Sam this, he finally gives into my compromise of not taking it to court, as long as lexy finds somewhere else to stay when he has Joshua there. This worked for a week… then Tuesday I called him and said that I decided to allow Lexy to be there Wednesdays since its only 3-4 hours before Joshua goes to bed anyway. but still no weekends with her there.

today he tries to tell me that shes going to babysit him next thurs and Friday so he doesn’t have to miss work. (Joshuas school is closed all week for Xmas vacation so I took off mon and tues and half day wed, the rest was his responsibility) uhmm.. no. I didn’t even trust her to babysit when we were actually friends.. he must have bumped his damn head. So now im just going to go back to the court house and continue with the custody and make it all legal. When the judge originally heard that he moved her in the day they met, he literally laughed and said he doesn’t stand a chance because he doesn’t know this woman living there. EXACTLY MY POINT! Every adult that isn’t his friend or his parents see how bad this is.. to sudden force Joshua to live with another woman AND another child. Now hes even peeing his pants again at school and even the school agreed it was because of this situation and are writing a letter as such for me to use in court. He doesn’t care about the wellbeing of his child which is what hurts me. Everything is “well she needs a place to stay…” well lets think about why she had to call a stranger that she didn’t know.. why couldn’t she call family, friends, anyone else. OH probably because she already fucked they all over so bad they wouldn’t allow to stay there. It kills me because I know this wont end well.. shes going to live there until the resource has ran dry. she will play love, play house.. because hes giving her a free place to stay. She unemployed, hardly takes care of her own child.. her grandparents buy EVERYTHING which means now sam will be. I know her well enough to know that this is all a very clever ruse. but he will find out in his own time.

truthfully.. I want sam to be happy. I know he has been in a rough place since our separation and he needs someone to brighten up his days a bit. But this is the one for him.. I know her too well and obviously I know him to well.. this isn’t the right move. But unfortunately.. hes going to stay with ANYONE that shows him attention and she knows the right cards to play to have a free place to live. this upsets me.. she doesn’t want him, she wants a house. Just like how she used and cheated on her fiancé of like a million years. I wish he would just find some nice girl, and settle down. Someone that would be a good stepmom to Joshua and help Sam turn his life around. but for now.. its going to be a custody fight.. well not really a fight cause the judge already said this is a joke. but you know.. the last thing I want to do is keep Joshua from Sam and vice versa.. we were coparenting so well and getting along. Even were hanging out as a family, getting dinner and did thanksgiving together.. just for Lexy to ruin it all. We will never be able to do family stuff together while shes in the picture. but I cant allow for her to uproot and change all of Joshuas life.. his standard is mommy and daddy.. not mommy and daddy and lexy and Ava and it wont be changing this suddenly. If sam and lexx were just dating then im so okay with that.. I hope they find happiness. But her living there will be a fight for months. This was a horrible parenting choice for sam to make and I just cant imagine and believe that he cant see how this is hurting him. hes losing his home to another kid.. and another female. hes losing his dad to another female. its a horrible situation. When did just dating become outdated? Oh … that’s right… because shes using him for a place to live.

I wish I could say I hope this all turns out well but I know it wont.. 1 of 2 things can happen here.. she can find another place to live and they continue dating and custody stays 7-/30 as its been. OR she continues to live there and I take full custody. I hate that option but she wont be a fulltime figure in my childs life until they have been dating atleast a few months and I know its real..

Last Nights Win (Recipe)

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Chocolate Chip Banana Bread Recipe
(Makes 1 loaf)

Ingredients:

  • 1/2 cup butter (equivalent to 1 stick of butter), melted
  • 3/4 cup white sugar
  • 2 large eggs
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 1 and 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
  • 1 teaspoon baking soda
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 1/2 cup Greek yogurt
  • 2 over-ripe bananas, mashed
  • 1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips

Directions:

  1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
  2. In a large bowl, stir the melted butter and sugar together.
  3. Add the eggs and vanilla extract and mix well.  Set the wet ingredients aside.
  4. In a separate large bowl, whisk the flour, baking soda, and salt together.
  5. Gradually mix the dry ingredients into the wet ingredients until just combined.
  6. Add in the yogurt and the mashed bananas and mix until just combined.
  7. Gently stir in the chocolate chips.
  8. Spread evenly into a greased 9 x 5 loaf pan.
  9. Bake for 55 minutes or until a toothpick inserted into the center of the loaf comes out clean.  If you stab a chocolate chip, try again.  It might be done even if you have chocolate goo on your tester.
  10. Cool the loaf in the pan for at least 15 minutes before cutting into it.