Day 2

Write something someone told you about yourself that you’ll never forget.

“You always sabotage all your relationships because you think you can control the pain instead of finding happiness”

This was said to me about 5 years ago and it really stuck with me pretty hard. I have a hard time putting trust in relationships. I always feel like its just a ticking time bomb till something bad happens or till someone falls out of love. But in reality it ended because I didn’t have the faith and its true, I sabotaged them. I looked for something wrong, I got jealous for no reason, accused with no validation, found something wrong in any man that came my way. Even went through some times of cheating.. just because something was off in the relationship… at least that’s what id tell myself. it wont last forever so whos cares? I have a tendency to ruin things in my own way… unintentionally on purpose in a way. I didn’t want to believe that anything could be forever and I didn’t want to get hurt so I screwed things up on my terms so I wasn’t ever the hurt one.

I try my hardest not to be this way anymore.. I try not to overreact and I try not to look for a reason that something would fail. I try to keep the faith and have recently started putting more trust in people. I have to learn that not everyone is out to hurt me. not everyone would break my heart.

its a hard lesson to learn. this statement was said to me by an amazing guy who went though my phone and caught me talking to another guy. it actually hurt me that I hurt him and that made me rethink a lot. I do things much differently now. and if this guy is ever reading this… thank you. for saving my future relationships.

 

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